1) Bryce Harper is still That Guy. Harper came into Tuesday’s game hitless in eleven at-bats. If you take out a calculator and crunch the numbers, that’s a .000 batting average. Then he hits three home runs against Cincinnati in a 9-4 win, including a seventh-inning grand slam to blow the game open. Even the lone out he made was a scorching 100 mph line drive to center.

It’s a reminder that we’re witnessing true greatness. Harper isn’t just a superstar, he’s in a special tier somewhere above that. Just a bad, bad man. “It’s just a matter of time for him, he’s a great hitter. I don’t really get concerned with Bryce,” said Rob Thomson with a laugh after the game.

The last time a Phillie hit three home runs in one game at Citizens Bank Park? Hmmm…

2008 was a pretty good year, you may recall.

2) Spencer Turnbull might play a big role for the 2024 Phillies. It takes more than five starting pitchers for a baseball team to get through a season. The Phils re-learned that lesson quickly this year, when Taijuan Walker was placed on the 15-day injured list with a shoulder issue. Eleven different pitchers started games for the 2023 Phillies. (Where were you when Michael Plassmeyer allowed ten runs to the Mets last September?)

So if Turnbull continues to pitch like he did Wednesday night–5 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 7K–he’ll probably end up making a significant number of starts for the Fightins. “He attacked the zone. Strikes, for the most part, all night,” said Thomson when asked about the big righthander. “Really a great debut.”

Check out this filthy curveball:

3) Ricardo Pinto is a gamer. Pinto woke up Tuesday morning in Rochester, NY, about 350 miles from Citizens Bank Park. The Phillies brought him down by car. He left around noon and got stuck in traffic, arriving in the fourth inning of the game. “That’s a baseball player,” said Thomson. “He came in, I think he threw in the tunnel or the cages or something like that, came out, said hello, and went to the bullpen.”

I don’t know about you all, but I’m not doing much except taking a nap after that kind of road trip. But Pinto pitched four solid innings and gave the rest of a taxed Phillies bullpen the night off. Gotta love it.

4) Brandon Marsh is off to a hot start. Overshadowed a bit by Harper’s home run binge, Marsh went three for four with his second home run of the season on Tuesday. He’s hitting .357 with a 1.143 OPS through 14 at-bats. Extrapolate that through 600 ABs and our hairy friend is on course to hit 86 home runs.

If you don’t believe Marsh will hit 86 dingers, I guess you just don’t understand math.

5) Maybe Philadelphia needs a dome. Indoor baseball is gross but it’s better than no baseball at all. Tuesday’s game was a blast, but was almost washed out. Plus it was played in the freezing cold. Wednesday’s game was moved from 1:35 (78% chance of rain, per the Weather Channel app) to 4:05 (97% chance of rain). We will see how that goes. But this is a recurring issue.

There has to be a better way for baseball to manage these situations. Maybe all teams from the Northeast start with a road trip? Maybe we build a bigass dome? (The Phillies could even slap advertisements on it!) Maybe the season starts in May? Look, I don’t have all the answers, but it’s time to start a conversation. Today’s official attendance was 28,119 and maybe 10% of those with tickets showed up to brave the weather.

Last April, I brought the fam to a game and dropped a million dollars on sweatshirts/blankets at the team store before we all went into hypothermic shock. About 15 years before that, Cole Hamels almost died on the mound pitching in a World Series game that was delayed for days.

A big, beautiful dome. Retractable. Let’s do it, Philadelphia. We pay our taxes and we pay full price for hot dogs. We deserve this. Here’s my design:

Weather permitting, it’ll be Zack Wheeler against Reds RHP Frankie Montas on Wednesday. The Phils can get to .500 with a win.