Phillies "stay loose and sexy," remain the best team in baseball

The Phillies won for the 16th time in their last 19 games on Sunday, beating Logan Webb and the San Francisco Giants, 5-4. They improved to 24-11 overall. That’s the best record in baseball, and it puts them 2.5 games ahead of the Atlanta Braves in the National League East.

Only two of the other 141 Phillies teams in franchise history got off to a hotter start than the current squad: the 1976 Phils, who won 101 games, and the 1993 Phils, who won 97 regular season games en route to the World Series.

The Fightins’ lineup is top-five in the National League in batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, hits, walks, home runs, stolen bases, and runs scored. The pitching staff’s 3.35 ERA is top-two in the NL, just a tick behind the Dodgers’ 3.36. The same goes for the staff’s WHIP (1.16 to Los Angeles’ 1.15). And Phillies pitchers have struck out more batters (333) than any other team in the majors.

But enough with the statistics. Let’s talk about how fun this team is. In front of a national ESPN television audience, Bryce Harper–ever the showman–blasted a three-run home run off of Webb in the third inning Sunday to put the Phillies up 5-1. When Taijuan Walker (who pitched well through six innings) gave up a seventh-inning HR, Gregory Soto came in throwing straight gas to preserve the Phils’ 5-3 lead.

Jeff Hoffman pitched the eighth, striking out three batters and flexing like a pro wrestler after stranding a runner on third base. Great stuff.

And Jose Alvarado, after entering the game accompanied by the lights and music intended to let you know he’s about to tear some shit up, did just that in the ninth. (Ok, Alvarado allowed a solo home run to Jakson Reetz, a player described by PHLY producer Tyler Zulli in the group text as a “made-up MLB The Show create-a-player.”) But Alvarado closed it out nonetheless.

Earlier in the game, ESPN mic’d up Brandon Marsh for an always-unsettling “interview a player while he’s in the middle of playing baseball” feature, and the leftfielder didn’t disappoint. Asked which Phillies teammates he’d start a band with, Marsh fielded a fly ball and let out some sort of scream before answering Garrett Stubbs, Kyle Schwarber, and Cristian Pache. Pressed on the band’s name, Marsh floated “stay loose and sexy, baby.”

I gotta be honest with you, Marsh… that’s a shit band name. Let’s workshop it.

But as a team philosophy? It’s perfect. Over the past few years, it has become clear that this Phillies group performs best when they’re thinking less and clowning more. When they press–see 2022 World Series Game Four or the end of the 2023 NLCS–things tend to go south. Every team needs to find its identity, and for this team, “stay loose and stay sexy” pretty much sums it up.

The Phillies will send Zack Wheeler to the mound on Monday, aiming to complete a four-game sweep of the Giants. San Fran will counter with Mason Black, a 24-year-old RHP making his MLB debut.

Monday’s match-up is the type of game that looks so winnable that, in previous Phillies seasons, fans would actually expect a loss. But this 2024 team consistently takes care of business against weaker opponents. It’s a long season, and there will be some rough patches, but the Phils’ success through 35 games looks entirely sustainable.

If you’re a Phillies fan, what more could you really ask for right now?

Here’s my advice to you, my friends, as I paraphrase the words of a wise bearded philosopher: stay loose, stay sexy, have fun, and enjoy the ride this summer.

[Unintelligible grunting/barking noises]