Garrett Stubbs hasn’t batted once this postseason, but to be fair, his role on the bench as Chief Vibes Officer already seems like a full-time job. Outside of scouting opposing hitters with J.T. Realmuto and banging the dugout fence after mammoth home runs, the Phillies’ backup catcher has become synonymous with his celebratory alternate identity “DJ Stubbs.”
Since taking on the moniker throughout last year’s postseason run, his curational skills have become a big part of the team’s winning culture. As a result, Stubbs has relished his responsibility, which, when he’s not loading up Buds into his overall pockets, primarily consists of controlling the music inside the clubhouse after victories. As was made public last year on Spotify, his “Phils Win” playlist, which lists teammate Kyle Schwarber as an active contributor, features a mixture of club bangers, southern singalongs, and early 2010s hip-hop. And thanks to the Phillies’ frequent champagne celebrations, the euphoric soundtrack has been supplemented with sudsy visuals of players screaming out each song’s lyrics together.
“We have the best celebration team,” Bryce Harper recently told Pat McAfee on ESPN. “If there’s a team anybody wants to hire for a wedding, we’re the team. We’ll bring the vibes, we’ll bring the playlist, we’ll bring it all.”
Near the top of the playlist is Calum Scott’s “Dancing on My Own,” which the team adopted as its postseason anthem last year, and then brought back when the vibes needed to shift earlier this spring. But there are 101 other songs—from artists like Tenacious D, Meek Mill, and Galantis—that flow through the Phillies’ bluetooth setup on any given victory, which got us thinking: Which players best represent the tracks on this playlist?
Because of the voluminous amount of songs and players on the roster, I’ve decided to list only the most heavily-used songs and the most notorious celebrators following postseason series victories to take part in this experiment. According to their order in the playlist, here are my results:
“Love Tonight” — Shouse
Trea Turner
We all know the story by now. After a career-low stretch punctuated by a game-losing error in Miami, Trea Turner returned to Philadelphia on August 4th completely lost. But that night, as the Phillies began a three-game series with Kansas City, the Phillies faithful heel-turned and gave Turner a standing ovation, the kind of confidence boost and warm reception an All-Star-caliber player needed to get his groove back. The results were immediate. After that weekend’s hearty applause, Turner pivoted the narrative of his season, slashing .337/.668/1.057 the rest of the way and helping carry the Phils into the postseason, where he’s stayed just as productive. In some ways, you could say Shouse was Turner’s subconscious monologue: “All [Trea] need[ed] [was] your love tonight.” Thankfully, he got it.
“Dancing On My Own” — Callum Scott ft. Tiesto
Kyle Schwarber
It only felt right to associate Kyle Schwarber with the song and tradition he brought to the Phillies. Originally a walk-up song by Red Sox catcher Kevin Plawecki, then Boston’s own clubhouse anthem during the 2021 playoffs, Schwarber (who spent the second half of the ‘21 season in Beantown) leaked the tradition to the Phillies and things have never been the same. Despite Callum Scott’s full-blown support of the song’s usage, it’s still a bit disappointing that the team isn’t rallying behind Robyn’s version, a more upbeat queer anthem. Indeed, Scott’s remix has a more melancholy, isolating feeling to it. Of course, leave it to the Phillies to turn its frown around. It’s already a probability that Schwarber will never have to buy a beer or dance alone any more in Philadelphia.
“Cold Heart – PS1 Remix” — Dua Lipa, Elton John, PS1
Zack Wheeler, Aaron Nola, and Ranger Suarez
Are we sure the Phillies’ playoff rotation has a pulse? So far, the jury’s out. Living up to their potential, the three-headed attack has taken on a new level in October, forgetting the expected pressures of the playoffs with a host of zeros and K’s. In three starts, Wheeler has thrown 19 innings, allowing just five earned runs with a .70 WHIP, while Nola and Suarez have kept pace, allowing three runs over 21 ⅓ innings. In the context of the playlist, this is one of the more mellow, swaying, easy-to-sing songs. But don’t let it fool this trio’s cold-hearted approach to hitters all postseason. They’re not the men fans think they are at home. No, they’re October men.
“Dicked Down in Dallas” — Trey Lewis
Alec Bohm
Ever since Nick Castellanos began undoing the top buttons of his uniform during games, Phillies players have started embracing their inner sluttiness. Their series-clinching celebrations have become shirtless affairs, frat parties without the toxic masculinity. Instead, there’s a homoeroticism you’d only expect to see in the volleyball scene of Top Gun. How else do you describe their arm-clinged dancing and bare-bodied hugging? Bohm has taken Castellanos’s baton in this regard, wearing less and less throughout the summer months and letting his hair continue to grow and flow. It seems only fitting he represents such a horny, NSFW country song.
“Dixieland Delight” — Alabama
Garrett Stubbs
INT. Phillies Clubhouse. Night.
The room is filled with smoke and strobe lights. The carpet has been tarped over with a plastic floor. Beer and champagne spray everywhere, dumped on players’ heads and chugged by lockers. Everyone is wearing goggles. Music is blasting. In the middle of the chaos is Garrett Stubbs, leading a group of teammates to “Dixieland Delight.” Except, he’s started changing up the in-between lyrics:
“A little turtle dovin’ on a Mason-Dixon night (F*CK THE BRAVES)
Fits my life (AND WHOEVER THE F*CK WE PLAY NEXT)
Oh so right (AND ALWAYS THE METS)”
Nobody thrives more in the Phillies nightclub environment than a drunken Stubbs. He’s turned the series-winning celebrations into semi-religious experiences. As DJ, he is the proverbial choir director, and nobody has more joy than him when it comes to directing this altered chorus and submerging players and coaches in alcohol.
“Believe” — Masove, Jovieson, Tess Burstone
JT Realmuto
What am I supposed to do?
Sit around and wait for you?
Well, I can’t do that
And there’s no turning back
So goes the second verse of “Believe,” and maybe also the internal dialogue inside J.T Realmuto’s head as he prepares to gun down a base runner attempting to steal. With an MLB-leading 1.83-second average pop time, Realmuto has continued to prove his superior defensive value as the team’s starting backstop. After all is said and done, opposing base runners will often find themselves to be the lonely ones, jogging dejectedly back to their dugout.
“I Was Made For Lovin You”
Brandon Marsh and Bryson Stott
Just as Garrett Stubbs became the face of the Phillies’ musical environment, Marsh and Stubbs graduated from the daycare and became the team’s unofficial, full-fledged water boys. Which is to say, after each victory, they never missed a chance to douse that game’s best player with cups of ice-cold water, a tradition some tried to avoid (Trea Turner, mostly) before relenting to the inevitable. Eventually, the pair got a little more creative, putting gum, seeds, and even pieces of fruit into their dixie cups to shower their teammates with something extra. Truly, these guys were made for loving. Nobody’s been more supportive and had more fun this year breaking headsets than them.
“Lay Low” — Tiesto
Nick Castellanos
One month ago, in the ninth inning of a tie game between the Phillies and Braves, Castellanos heard a voice in his head. With one out and a runner on third, he sprinted toward a fly ball in foul territory knowing that if he caught it, Atlanta’s Luke Williams would have a strong chance to tag and score the winning run. As he approached the stands, however, Castellanos threw caution to the wind and heeded the voice’s command: “Catch the ball.” With all his momentum carrying him away from home plate, he gloved the baseball, spun around and threw a one-hop dart to J.T. Realmuto, who applied a tag just before Williams could touch home plate. The Phillies went on to win in the tenth inning. “Usually he just pops up when I’m hitting. You know? Like, don’t take this 2-0 pitch,” he said of the voice. This time, it instructed him defensively.
In “Lay Low,” Tiesto’s lyrics offer a window into Castellanos’s mindset. “I’m hearing voices in my head, there’s no way to escape. They got me,” starts the first verse. Whether they sound like Scooby-Doo or not is beside the point. The voices are usually right.
“The Sweet Escape” — Gwen Stefani, Akon
The Bullpen
This year’s Phillies’ bullpen is a far cry from the frustratingly mediocre stables of arms of the last decade. The unit throws gas, and has become increasingly reliable throughout the season. Consider the first game of the NLDS, which required nearly every reliever to neutralize the Braves’ potent offense for a rare shutout. Despite this group getting itself in trouble here and there, more often than not it’s found a way to avoid blowups. “Sweet Escape” might be a moniker for any decent bullpen, but it’s felt all too appropriate during their NLDS-clinching game in Game 4 against the Braves, when Craig Kimbrel flirted with disaster and narrowly won a base-loaded battle with Ronald Acuña Jr. When the ball dropped into Johan Rojas’s glove in left-center field, you could collectively hear all of Philadelphia let out a heavy breath, and then a “Woo-hoo! Yee-hoo!”
“Me Olvide De Vivir” — Toño Rosario
Johan Rojas
Aside from the language commonality, “Me Olvide De Vivir” is the kind of toe-tapper that can only be associated with a fleet-of-foot center fielder. Rojas has become a crucial part of the team’s defense down the stretch, making his emergence from Double-A straight to the majors the surprise of the season. As the fastest player on the team, it only makes sense to pair him with such a motorized salsa, a Latin flair the Phillies have fully embraced.
“Lose Yourself” — Eminem
Bryce Harper
Bryce Harper could realistically be associated with every song on this playlist. He is the Phillies, in a way this organization has rarely experienced throughout its storied existence. The reason? He has the uncanny ability to come through—over and over and over again—in clutch situations, turning his at-bats into must-watch television. Consider his two-home run game last week against the Braves, taking Orlando Arcia’s overheard joke personally and staring him down twice after rounding second base. Or Monday night, popping a home run in the first inning and plating another in the fourth inning to celebrate his 31st birthday. Those are just two examples from a laundry list of super heroic moments in his Phillies career. Undoubtedly, he loses himself in the moment, never lets it go, and makes his opportunities count. Marshall Mathers might have been talking about escaping Detroit’s impoverished neighborhoods, but Harper has channeled his words to create a Philadelphia love affair.
